Favorite Parenting Books

Here is a simple list of my favorite parenting books

Happiest Baby on the Block - Harvey Karp

Baby Led Weaning - Gill Rapley

Simplicity Parenting - Kim John Payne

How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen - Joanna Faber and Julie King

Siblings Without Rivalry - Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles - Paul Tripp (Religious; Christian)

Grace Based Parenting - Tim Kimmel (Religious; Christian)

*Crib Sheet - Emily Oster is on my list; I have enjoyed her other works.

I read SO many parenting books when I was pregnant with my first and through her first year. Babywise, No Cry Sleep Solution, Bringing up Bebe, and many more that are blending in my brain. I think the greatest thing I learned from all these books is, rarely is one parenting style the “right” way. If you like to read a lot, do it! Just take it all with a grain a salt and glean from it what makes the most sense for you and your family.

~ Jessica

Picky Eater

With both of my children, I introduced solids using the method, Baby Led Weaning.  Essentially if you wait until your baby shows signs of readiness to eat (usually around 6 months), your baby can self feed.  It concentrates on using whole foods, rather than purees or pre-packaged foods.  For clarification in England the word weaning refers to the introduction of solid food, not the act of reducing or stopping breastfeeding. 

At the age of two, my son would be considered a good eater.  He eats when he is hungry, and doesn’t eat when he isn’t.  It is not so much about the food that is in front of him, rather his hunger level.  Often, he likes things that could be considered unusual for a toddler; feta cheese, seeds, almost every vegetable or legume and even iced coffee.  His newest trick is to ask for something, take 2 bites and request something else.  Now if he asks for a third food item, he has to finish most of the other two.  Additionally, if he asks for a snack an hour after dinner and barely touched his dinner, the plate comes back out. 

My daughter was also a good eater, eating most everything you offered her.  Especially if it came from my plate! At some point she started to become a little more picky, I think around two.  I could only see where this was going, as she started to refuse certain foods.  In starting with Baby Led Weaning, I had originally committed to not making a separate meal for my children.  Yet, I didn’t want a nightly stand-off of forced bites of food.  I felt stopping this pattern before it started was of utmost importance. 

I am not sure where I heard this tip from, but it definitely became useful.  Include at least one item in your meal that you know your child will eat.  The purpose being your child will not get used to refusing meals.  This one worked well for us.  Once my daughter would start eating the foods she liked, we could often convince her to try a bite of something else on her plate.  The words “you don’t have to like it, but you should at least try it” became a dinner routine.  Somehow removing the pressure to like the food gave her more freedom to try it. 

Where are we now?  While my daughter has a few foods she is unwilling to eat (e.g. tomatoes, beans) she will try most foods. 

I think the one other tactic that really works is to limit snacks before meal time.  Somewhere along the way, being hungry before a meal became wrong.  I try to keep the last snack before a meal at least an hour before or if a snack closer to dinner can't be helped, I tend to choose vegetables or fruit and then don't care as much if dinner is picked at. 

You may also find that your child eats best earlier in the day.  Perhaps by the time dinner comes around, they have actually consumed a large number of calories throughout the day.  While veggies or meat might seem like a breakfast oddity, a late morning snack packed with healthy nutrients would certainly be an option. 

Do you have any suggestions for picky eaters?  Things you have heard?  Tactics you have tried?

Caffeine During Pregnancy, Safe or Not?

There are a lot of mixed views on the safety of caffeine in pregnancy.  This uncertainty may come from the mixed research results.  Two immediate, probably uncontrollable flaws of caffeine research are, it is based on maternal recall/truthfulness and the inability to know the true caffeine levels consumed.  This makes interpreting the results more difficult.

What we do know is that caffeine readily crosses the placenta, and mothers metabolize caffeine more slowly during pregnancy.   Currently, ACOG recommends caffeine intake remains below 200mg a day.  A brewed drip cup of coffee has about 137mg of caffeine in 8oz (though their cited source now says 95 mg) and tea is estimated to be about 48 mg.  In ACOG's opinion, there does not seem to be a clear risk between moderate caffeine consumption and miscarriage, but they also don’t feel they can raise the recommendation higher at this point. ACOG also does not find a definite link between caffeine and preterm birth.  More research is needed to see if there is a correlation between caffeine and intrauterine growth restriction. 

I keep seeing a reference to the World Health Organization recommending less than 300mg per day, but I have yet to find this in a document.  The only thing close was a WHO European document from 2001, recommending intake be no more than 3-4 cups of coffee a day.  (If anyone finds a proper source, please let me know!)

While ACOG looked at two large studies in regards to caffeine and miscarriage, a recent meta-analysis included 14 studies.   The authors' conclusion was high levels of caffeine consumption (>350mg per day) was related to increased miscarriage risk. 

In looking at low birth weight, another meta-analysis found that high levels of caffeine were associated with lower birth weight.  High level was not defined.  13 studies were included.

This was the only study I could find related to a possible increase risk of preterm birth.  It seems there might be an association between preterm birth and Japanese and Chinese Tea; soft drinks and coffee did not have the same effect.

It appears that 200-300mg of caffeine a day is safe during pregnancy.  Knowing this, it is a good idea to consider all sources, and know the amount you consume. 

For someone who personally loves coffee, limiting my consumption during pregnancy is tough, especially once the nausea subsides.  Part of the love is related to the feeling of a warm mug in hand, so I try to find some substitutes.  I will make my coffee half decaf.  And while drinking a cup of total decaf coffee is often not palatable, I do like decaf black tea.  This year I have tried hot water with lemon and honey.  Though not my loved cup of coffee, overall it hits the warm mug in hand spot. 

Thoughts of caffeine?  Any good substitutes you have found?

Anemia During Pregnancy

During pregnancy you may be tested to see if you are anemic.  The blood count level your provider is most often looking at is your hematocrit/hemoglobin levels.  The criteria for anemia changes during pregnancy, as your blood volume changes. 

The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology recommends that women who are anemic during pregnancy have further work-up to determine the source.  If you are borderline anemic or have struggled with anemia in the past, you may want to attempt to increase your iron stores if a work-up isn’t indicated. 

When looking up ways to increase your iron intake, you may have heard that calcium interferes with the absorption of iron.  However, it actually seems like the evidence is unclear.  In the immediate sense, calcium does block the absorption of iron, but the long-term effect does not seem to have a strong negative impact.  On the flip side, Vitamin C (ascorbic acid) has been shown to increase the iron absorption.  It is easy enough to find a list of high iron foods, but where do you go from there. 

Because the evidence is unclear, moving from information to intake can be a little perplexing.  Adding extra iron to your diet might be enough without changing your calcium/Vitamin C intake if you are looking to make a slight bump in your numbers.  But what if you want to go a step further?  It would seem reasonable to consider adding in one or two high meals or snacks that maximize the absorption.  Here are a few suggestions to potentially increase the amount of absorption:

Leafy green salad: Skip the cheese and dress with lemon juice and oil.  Top with chickpeas, pumpkin seeds, and broccoli, perhaps raisins for a touch of sweetness.  Making this for dinner, and top with steak.

Chili: Find a ground beef recipe that is heavy on the beans.  Again skip the cheese and consider avocado as a topping.  If you can’t live without the creaminess, use sour cream instead of cheese.  If you stick with the two tablespoon serving suggestion, the amount shouldn’t change the iron absorption. 

Hummus: Made from chickpeas, hummus is rich in iron.  Squeeze a little extra lemon juice on your serving.  Not feeling the hummus, try eating the beans whole as a snack. 

Simple switches:

Soup for lunch? Consider lentil, black bean, or a broth based one that includes beans.

Cereal for breakfast? Check out the labels on your favorites.  Go for the one that has the highest iron content. 

Craving a little sweet?   While I wouldn’t use the iron content as an excuse to indulge, if you are going there anyway consider dark chocolate.  Real black licorice candy also contain a small amount of iron.  

Apparently spices such as thyme, parsley, and cumin can also add to your iron intake. 

In general, babies take what they need from mom, so unless she is severely anemic the baby will still be able to build enough iron stores for after delivery.  However, if mom’s levels are already low, it could mean that mom is the one left in need.  Making small diet changes can help increase mom’s iron stores, letting her feel less depleted. 

Portable and Convenient Snacks

During pregnancy and breastfeeding when the hunger hits there is little time to spare.  The nausea, anger, or extreme tiredness is sure to follow.  Having a few snacks on hand or at least easy to put together are key in overcoming these desperate moments.  

In general, I think sticking with a limited number of snack ideas, for at least a week, is a good idea.  It makes grocery planning/shopping easier, and additionally there will probably be less waste.  Nothing is worse than throwing out expensive groceries that have passed their prime before you could get to them.

The other key to good snacking is having a balance of carbohydrates and protein.  If your snacks are carbohydrate heavy, you are at risk for feeling hungry soon after. 

So put down the candy and take a look at the following list of ideas.

·      Trail mix, ideally separated into snack size bags.  Don’t feel like making your own? Trader’s Joes carries individual sized trail mix bags. 

·      Hard boiled eggs

·      Banana or Apple with peanut butter.  Have a desk at work?  Store a jar of your favorite nut butter in a drawer

·      Handful of nuts

·      Popcorn and nuts

·      Carrots and hummus

·      Crackers with cheese.  Pre-slice cheese and keep in an airtight container or try some of the individually packaged cheese

·      Celery and peanut butter

·      Cottage cheese or yogurt with fruit

·      Roasted chickpeas

·      ½ peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole grain bread

Have any go to snacks?  Would love to hear what you turn to when the hunger strikes!