Favorite Parenting Books

Here is a simple list of my favorite parenting books

Happiest Baby on the Block - Harvey Karp

Baby Led Weaning - Gill Rapley

Simplicity Parenting - Kim John Payne

How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen - Joanna Faber and Julie King

Siblings Without Rivalry - Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles - Paul Tripp (Religious; Christian)

Grace Based Parenting - Tim Kimmel (Religious; Christian)

*Crib Sheet - Emily Oster is on my list; I have enjoyed her other works.

I read SO many parenting books when I was pregnant with my first and through her first year. Babywise, No Cry Sleep Solution, Bringing up Bebe, and many more that are blending in my brain. I think the greatest thing I learned from all these books is, rarely is one parenting style the “right” way. If you like to read a lot, do it! Just take it all with a grain a salt and glean from it what makes the most sense for you and your family.

~ Jessica

Picky Eater

With both of my children, I introduced solids using the method, Baby Led Weaning.  Essentially if you wait until your baby shows signs of readiness to eat (usually around 6 months), your baby can self feed.  It concentrates on using whole foods, rather than purees or pre-packaged foods.  For clarification in England the word weaning refers to the introduction of solid food, not the act of reducing or stopping breastfeeding. 

At the age of two, my son would be considered a good eater.  He eats when he is hungry, and doesn’t eat when he isn’t.  It is not so much about the food that is in front of him, rather his hunger level.  Often, he likes things that could be considered unusual for a toddler; feta cheese, seeds, almost every vegetable or legume and even iced coffee.  His newest trick is to ask for something, take 2 bites and request something else.  Now if he asks for a third food item, he has to finish most of the other two.  Additionally, if he asks for a snack an hour after dinner and barely touched his dinner, the plate comes back out. 

My daughter was also a good eater, eating most everything you offered her.  Especially if it came from my plate! At some point she started to become a little more picky, I think around two.  I could only see where this was going, as she started to refuse certain foods.  In starting with Baby Led Weaning, I had originally committed to not making a separate meal for my children.  Yet, I didn’t want a nightly stand-off of forced bites of food.  I felt stopping this pattern before it started was of utmost importance. 

I am not sure where I heard this tip from, but it definitely became useful.  Include at least one item in your meal that you know your child will eat.  The purpose being your child will not get used to refusing meals.  This one worked well for us.  Once my daughter would start eating the foods she liked, we could often convince her to try a bite of something else on her plate.  The words “you don’t have to like it, but you should at least try it” became a dinner routine.  Somehow removing the pressure to like the food gave her more freedom to try it. 

Where are we now?  While my daughter has a few foods she is unwilling to eat (e.g. tomatoes, beans) she will try most foods. 

I think the one other tactic that really works is to limit snacks before meal time.  Somewhere along the way, being hungry before a meal became wrong.  I try to keep the last snack before a meal at least an hour before or if a snack closer to dinner can't be helped, I tend to choose vegetables or fruit and then don't care as much if dinner is picked at. 

You may also find that your child eats best earlier in the day.  Perhaps by the time dinner comes around, they have actually consumed a large number of calories throughout the day.  While veggies or meat might seem like a breakfast oddity, a late morning snack packed with healthy nutrients would certainly be an option. 

Do you have any suggestions for picky eaters?  Things you have heard?  Tactics you have tried?

Failure to Breastfeed, Who is to Blame?

In the obstetric world, the word failure is often used when the norm is not met or an intervention (regardless of its appropriateness) does not work. Some terms you may recognize include:

·      Failure to progress

·      Failure to descend

·      Failure to dilate

·      Failed induction of labor

·      Failed trial of labor

·      Failed attempted vaginal birth after a previous cesarean

·      Failed lactogenesis (not able to make breast milk)

The terms failed or failure are harsh, to say the least.  They are deeply personal to those who are the recipients of the diagnosis.  But when breastfeeding fails, is it the mother’s fault? 

In a recent issue of The Lancet breastfeeding has been highlighted as a health topic that needs more support, investment, and commitment.  The health benefits of breastfeeding are staggering, for both mom and baby.  In the response to overall low breastfeeding rates, the authors of Why invest, and what it will take to improve breastfeeding practices?*, suggests 6 points to improve breastfeeding rates around the world.  Guess how many of these points directly involve the mother?  None!  The call for support looks more broadly to the system, if the system is improved the breastfeeding rates should follow. 

In brief, here are their suggested interventions to improve breastfeeding rates.

1.     Disseminate the evidence of exclusive breastfeeding

2.     Foster positive societal attitudes towards breastfeeding

3.     Show political support

4.     Regulate formula companies

5.     Monitor trends and interventions in breastfeeding practices

6.     Political institutions to exercise their authority and remove structural and societal barriers to breastfeeding.

What do you think, will a systems approach improve breastfeeding rates?  What do you think was the biggest influence on your breastfeeding experience?

*The summary of the article is found here

Conquering Diaper Rash

Need some tips to overcome diaper rash?  Nursing for Women’s Health Journal recently published an article* with some great tips to prevent and cure diaper rash.  This post will cover non-infectious diaper rash, also known as irritant or chaffing dermatitis.  If your baby has diaper rash that will not go away, there is skin breakdown, or you would use words like crusty or vesicles to describe the diaper rash, it is best to seek medical treatment.

This article suggests an ABCDE approach. 

Air – let your baby air out when possible.  After baths or diaper changes letting the diaper area dry before putting back on a diaper is a great time to expose your baby’s skin to the air.  If your baby isn’t yet a mover, you could try laying them on an absorbent diaper changing mat to hang out for a bit, just in case they do let loose!

Barrier – If your baby has frequent rashes you may want to consider diaper rash cream to be part of your diaper routine.  The best creams contain zinc and petroleum for protection.  Though you are welcome to try alternatives.  The key to a barrier is to lay it on thick, covering much of the diaper area or at least where the rash typically appears.  The cream should NOT be removed during diaper changes, but simply wiped as you would normally.  No scrubbing.  This may be a little more difficult to do when poop is present, and a very wet wipe may help in this case.  If your baby currently has a rash, you would follow the same tips as the preventative method, taking much care to cover the rash areas thickly with cream.

Cleansing – Always be gentle during a diaper change, avoiding scrubbing to remove diaper contents.  If you have a particularly messy diaper, a soak in the tub might be your best option, especially if baby frequently suffers from diaper rash.  If commercial wipes are used, it is best to avoid perfumes.  If made at home wipes are used, choosing a soft clothe is best.  

Diapering – There is not enough evidence to recommend cloth vs disposable diapers, but what is known is, frequent diaper changes are important.  Diapers should be changed every 1 to 3 hours during the day.  Crazy talk, I know.  Let’s say your child does not have a rash, and you change their diaper every 3 hours, really that is only 4-5 times during the day.  Not terrible.  What if you are in prevention mode?  Aiming for every 2 hours is certainly reasonable.  And if you are trying to cure, I would change the baby’s diaper each time it seems wet.  The types of diaper rashes we are talking about here should clear up in about 3 days.  Easy?  No.  Doable?  Probably yes.  A few other tips would be to change the diaper once in the middle of the night if you are clearing a rash, but certainly immediately before bed and upon waking.  And always change a poop as soon as it is detected!

Education- The E stands for educating parents, and is written from a health care providers standpoint, so for “E” I thought I would add a few more educational that came from the article and a few of my own.

-       Wash hands before and after diaper changes, this is particularly important if there is any skin breakdown

-       Try changing diaper brand, type (cloth vs disposable), or size if your baby is having recurrent rashes

-       Try changing wipes brand or type of wipes.  Look for ones without alcohol (huggies and pampers both have alcohol free versions, seventh generation seems to be completely alcohol free)

-       Wipe front to back (in both genders)

-       Pat the diaper area dry before replacing the diaper

Anything you have found particularly helpful in clearing up a diaper rash?

*article reference: Clinicians Discuss Diaper Dermatitis. (2015). Nursing for Women's Health, 19(5), 422-429.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

Pregnancy and infant loss affects more families than is probably realized.  It is the grief, especially in pregnancy, that often goes unnoticed or perhaps ignored.  Today we remember.  We remember those who may never have had a breath, a heartbeat or a voice, whose lives ended far too soon. 

And to the families who lost their babies, their hopes and dreams, we are so sorry.  We know the words we say will never change your situation or make it all better.  We can only hope you may rest in the comfort of a community who supports you and acknowledges your great loss. 

Today October 15th, we pause on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, and we remember. 

Can Pregnant and Breastfeeding Women Eat Honey? Yes!

Finding the reason why it is ok for pregnant and breastfeeding women came from an understanding of why infants should not eat honey.  Let me lead you through what I found.  It was hard to find a single scholarly source of the risks to infants under 12 months, and it took reading a few to have a complete understanding.  This online resource from Kid's Health had the best overview based on all the reading I did. 

All honey carries the risk of being contaminated with spores from a bacteria that causes the illness infant botulism.  The digestive tract of a baby under one year old is immature in several ways.  Infants do not have all the normal flora (healthy bacteria) of an older child or adult to compete with the bacteria spores that cause botulism.  The spores are then able to set up shop in the infant’s digestive tract.  Additionally, the pH and decreased mobility of the infant’s bowel may also place a role in their susceptibility.  

Adult botulism from food ingestion is extremely rare.  The digestive tract of adults and child older than 12 months is able to move the spores out before they can cause harm.  Thus honey is considered safe for pregnant and breastfeeding women. 

While the number of cases of infant botulism remains low, less than 100 per year, avoiding honey is a smart tip to protecting your little one.  Infants do not need honey and avoiding is generally easy.  However, it is good to note that cooking or baking the honey will most likely not destroy the spores (need to boil for 20-30 minutes). 

In addition, after all of my reading, I would probably avoid feeding a baby under 12 months home canned vegetables for the first year of life.  This is not something we routinely eat, so avoiding would be easy for me.  If you do consume home canned vegetables, make sure the cook is following proper canning techniques and it may be best to boil before consuming.  This resource has more details

http://goo.gl/UkSJY6

Pregnant or breastfeeding?  Eat your honey!  Under the age of one?  Steer clear!  If you do find out your little one consumed honey, don’t panic.  While the risk is low, I would keep my eye out for any concerning symptoms mentioned in the first link, as it could take up to one month for symptoms to present. 

Pregnant and Breastfeeding: Is it Safe?

Pregnant?  Still breastfeeding?  You may be getting a lot of mixed messages about what is best for you, your child, and your growing baby.  The Italian Society of Perinatal Medicine Working Group on Breastfeeding thought this topic was of enough interest/importance to dedicate a workshop to it during their national conference in 2013.  Their review can be found here. 

Their basic conclusion was breastfeeding during pregnancy could be promoted, especially during the 1st and 2nd trimesters.   Many of the so-called “risks” of breastfeeding during pregnancy were not supported by research.  There is little, if any risk of miscarriage, preterm labor or growth restriction in the general population of developed countries.  Interestingly, it is noted that only developed countries seem to be concerned with the nourishment of the nursing child (older than 6 months) during this time. 

So, what’s a gal to do?  Essentially, keep breastfeeding!  It's safe!  Additionally, though it seems like there is little to worry over, it might not be a bad idea to keep a closer eye on your diet and hydration.  Babies, both nursing and in utero, will take what they need, so stay fueled mama, that you aren’t left in deficit. 

Many moms use pregnancy as a time to wean their older child.  Beyond concerns for supply, many moms find breastfeeding uncomfortable during pregnancy.  Did you experience breastfeeding while pregnant?  Did pregnancy make you anxious to wean your older child?  I am sure other women in similar situations would love to hear your experience.